What the Hell ?
by angel0of0death
Summary: A journey and an unexpecting turn of events in the Hellsing Manor.
1. Chapter 1

An uninvited Guest

Today I´ll tell you a story, my story of how I became what I am today... something different.

It was an akward day... a cold chill was running down my spine the whole time and I knew that something would happen.. something bad. Oh how right I was.

„Hey little dumbhead I don´t pay you for doing nothing is that clear!!" I backed away a the foul smelling breath of my boss flowed right into my nose. When I looked up I saw him standing right in front of me. Yikes not a pleasent view.

As I looked over his big frog mouth, big red warty nose to his little piggy eyes I once again imagined him to be a big fat warthog.

I couldn´t help but smile a little at the thought of him in a big stall in the mud eating the garbage of other people.

I tried to focus on him babbling something about .. no future, bla bla … landing on the street... bla bla …. little idiot …. bla bla bla … . At some point I lost also my fake interest and drifted of as he kept on screaming and cursing at me (YAWN...)

And then it was quiet and I recognized that he was waiting for something. Oops wasn´t listening...

„ Yeah, youre right boss. I will make it better next time ok?" Well it wasn´t what he was waiting for obviously becaus in the next instant he was beet red and his little eyes were like slits as he stood there with , I swear, steam coming out of his ears, just like a big fat teapod.

„ YOU WASN´T LISTENING TO ANYTHING I SAID RIGHT? THAT´S ENOUGH YOU LITTLE..... YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!" With this last sentence he grabbed my arms and shoved me out of the bar.

I stood there only a few seconds still confused as my bag and jacket came flying out of the door landing on the dirty streetway.

That´s when I registered what had happened. I lost my job … again.

And in less then a week furthermore. A new record for me... little looser.. well no drinks in this bar for me anymore.

I grabbed my things of the street and turned to the empty street in front of me, it was late in the night and the streetlights were already on.

I sighed and made my way over to the bus station where I sat down and waited for the next bus to show up, staring at the night sky.

It was a beautifull night, the full moon shining over the city and somewhere over the city lights the stars shining in the black sky.

Well I always was a night person... getting all excited and giggly as the sunset was coming and the night was falling.

But at this night I couldn´t find the peace of the night like always, something was disturbing me greatly but I couldn´t quite recognize what it was.

I shrugged my shoulders and got up to enter the bus that was coming around the corner.

When I finally got home (I took the wrong bus *wink, wink*) the first thing I noticed was that my door was standing slightly open. My heart was beating incredibly fast as I imagined some robber going through my stuff and his disappointed look when he was finding nothing... well I said I was a looser didn´t I?

Grabbing my pepperspray ready to make the robbers eyes burning like they were toasted I inched closer slowly opening the door a little and looking around the corner into my small apartement. OK no axe swinging murder in the entry and in my living room or the kitchen, that leaves only my tiny bathroom or my bedroom... great.

I put all my will together and jumped into my bedroom to find .. nothing but a little kid sitting on my bed. A little young for a thief eh.

He had black hair and shining blue eyes. I appraised him 7 or 8 years old. "Hi. " I was confused to say the least " Ehm hi. What are you doing here little one ?"

He smirked and jumped to his feet grabbing my arm to yank me down, so that he could whisper in my ear. " I came to get you... it´s time."

I gasped looking shocked into his eyes as they became black and he began to giggle like he was insane... then everything went black around me.

He he cliffhanger, but don´t worry the next chapter will be up soon. Ciao and gimme lot´s of reviews ^-^


	2. Chapter 2

A coffin ?

I don´t own hellsing..... or ..... any of the characters .... bla bla ;-)

And I wanted to thank my til now only reviewer Seras thanks for the reviews !!! And for all the others who read this story, you are allowed to review too you know !!!!

I heard a voice... whispering to me... "Women it´s your destiny... your tale starts here, so now WAKE UP!!!" I gasped slowly opening my eyes and finding not my bedroom or the comforting walls of my apartement around me... only the walls of a dungeon. I blinked and raised my head to look around me.

Somehow my body was a little bit above the ground and as I slowly raised myself on my elbows I saw on what I lied.

It was a coffin ... * gulp *... great I was in a dungeon and I lied on a coffin. Hello .. what the hell is going on ?!

As I looked around me I recognized a big throne like chair at the end of the big chamber. It was twize the size of my bedroom. Also the coffin seemed rather big, maybe it was build for two, how romantic rotting together in a small room. I shivered as my mind slowly started to work rather normaly again.

And then I heard it a knocking from under me.. first only lightly till it was a rather hammering sound.

Geez .. there surely was something living in that thing, and it wanted to come out. Well not when I have some saying in this. I tried to make myself heavy while I looked around for something like stones, rocks or anything heavy.. but unfortunately there only was that monster of a throne and well I´m not exactly the big type of girl and my muscles aren´t so big also.

By now the lid of the coffin was vibrating with the hammering sounds and my whole body was trembling with the coffin. There surely wanted someone to come out.

And then just from one second to the other everything was quiet again ... well .. what the heck is coming now. " h-man wht ae yo ding o m cofn !?!" I giggled ( I know not a funny moment but my nerves * sigh *) "What was that please ?" I asked the coffin, but in the next instant I heard a masculine deep voice in my mind screaming rather loudly " I ASKED WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON MY COFFIN ? " I gulped that sounded rather angry " W-well sorry mister zombie monster coffin-talking thing I don´t really wanted to land on your coffin but you see there was this cute little boy and" "ENOUGH STOP RAMBLING AND GET OF MY COFFIN !!!!"

I thought about it ... and thought about it " Nah I don´t think I really want to do that. You know you sound not very friendly and I don´t want to be eaten by a zombie only because I let you out... you know ?" It was quiet for a few minutes "HOW DARE YOU.... well there is no other way then ... I WILL GET YOU OF MY COFFIN MYSELF!!!"

I shrieked as I went flying of the coffin as the lid was split into two and one big male hand came right through it pushing me of the damn thing. Great Gabrielle just the right place to land on... pissing of some freak by the way.

I tried to pull myself of the ground as the lid of the coffin ( well the rest of it ) was lifted and a big man coming out of it. WHOA ... he was ... rather attractive , you know in the mouth watering way.. very tall I guess 1. 90 or 2.00 metres. I saw long black hair as he shaked his head to get little splitters from it.

He was clad in a white chemise and black pants his feet bare as he carefully stepped out of his coffin.

He shaked his head again as he was looking at the rest of his coffin, and I knew that it wasn´t my best idea to make him damage it because when he turned his head sharply into my direction and his red eyes , yes read eyes, were boring into me I just wanted to run like hell was behind me.

I tried to get on my feet and failed miserably, because it seemed like I broke my left leg as I was catapulted into the wall. So I tried to crawl my way away from the man that was slowly coming closer.

" Do you even have the slightest idea of what I am going to do to you for destroying MY COFFIN ?! " I gulped " w-well to see it c-clearly it was you who has destroyed your coffin... and it wasn´t like I really wanted to land in this creepy place anyway mister monster!" I bit on my tongue, me and my fast mouth, always ready to bring people to the brink.

In the next instant I was hanging of the large hand of the man my back against the next wall. "It´s a pity that I don´t have any stakes here... it would be soo pleasurable to bring your little body down on one." My eyes widened " W-well my luck then." I tried desperately to think of something to get me out of this situation " h-how about w-we forget about it all. I-Im really sorry you know for letting you destroy your own coffin.... can I pay for i-t ? "

I blinked as the expression on his face changed from angry to blank ... and confused.. he was studying my face looking me all over, and then like something struck him he whispered something "M- Mina ?" and let me fall to the ground.

"OWW ,WHAT THE HELL ? THAT HURT YOU BASTARD!" I landed fully on my left leg. And then I heard the sound of a door opening and a female voice screaming "ALUCARD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ? "

Well cliffhanger again, hope you liked this chappie . PLEASE review ... ^-^ till next time.


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